“What do you think hell is like?”
“Do you really want to know, my friend?”
“It scares me, honestly…”
“It doesn’t have to terrify you. It is not as hostile a place as you think… There are worse places…”
“Because you said so?”
“Because my mind has already dragged me there…”
There are days when one feels strong, where one feels powerful as if one could carry the entire world on one’s shoulders… But there are days, where the mind drags you by your feet to that place where your demons and fears wait for you… While you, with all your strength, cling to not be pulled, to not fall there again… You get there, unsure if you can climb up and see the light again; They know your fears, it is your fears themselves that have dragged you towards them again…
They look into your eyes, they laugh, an evil smile appears on their faces, they have waited for you; They are hungry, they want to play with you, to laugh at you… You see them, they are face to face, you face your demons. You don’t take a step back, you don’t give an inch. You find yourself in hell itself; reaching the exit, the light becomes dimmer; This time, there is no easy way out…
There are two options in front of you right now. You let yourself be defeated by them and you let them control you, take possession of the most valuable thing you have your life. Or, you advance with a firm step, without retreating, without being intimidated, tired of them wanting to make fun of you… You decide to go for the second option. You see your arms, you see your legs, you don’t believe it, you hadn’t realized how strong you are, well maybe, you just know how strong you can be when being strong is your only alternative…
You prepare, you don’t run away, you don’t bow your head. You look into their eyes, and you tell them, “Did you want me here? You already have me here.” Come for me, I’m not going to make it easy for you”… They run towards you with all their anger, with all their rage… You prepare for the impact, you stand firm, you shout at them “This time I’m not going to make it so easy for you, this time, if you all want to beat me, you will have to be willing to die”…
They try to knock you down, you resist the first attack, you don’t know how you do it, you look at your legs and arms in amazement, there was fear inside you, now, you already believe in yourself, you already believe that you can win… They try again, this ever stronger… You stagger, insecurities want to enter, fears want to possess you again… Doubts, two internal struggles, two pitched struggles are being waged…
Your voices become present, you hear in the distance “You are not good enough” “No one appreciates you” “You are a burden” “You are a nuisance” “You will end up being replaced” “Who would want to be with someone like you”… You begin to stagger, the floor becomes fragile… They attack once again… They knock you down…
You think that everything is lost once again… You don’t see the light, it becomes increasingly dimmer and weaker… You look around you, and you see images that have taken you to that moment, you see an image of yourself when you were little… When you promised yourself that you would never give up, when looking in the mirror you swore that you would never give up on your dreams and that you would not let anyone else make you feel bad again… You see that image, of that child… They exchange glances… You turn to see them, and you watch as they walk away, laughing at you, they feel like winners once again…
You don’t know how you do it, but you get up, within the scars, you begin to contemplate beauty, genuine beauty that has resulted from each battle fought… With all your strength you get back up and shout to them, “Hey, come for me, I still haven’t I have given up, you have not finished me yet”… They come running towards you… They try to attack you, you dodge their attack, and now it is you who decides to go on the attack… “I’m doing it for you” you tell yourself… You come out prepared with all your strength, with all your courage, you are very clear that on this occasion, surrender is not an option… You attack, you see that they are bleeding, you realize that they are not invincible, they are not immortal… You attack once again, with the same determination…
You knock one of them down, you believe in yourself, you think you can emerge victorious… They attack, they hurt you, you hear those voices once again… Not everyone sees the fight you are fighting to get out of there, out of that hole, only a few are. They notice your enormous effort…
One more battle, “you are not good” “no one cares about you”… On the other side, “You are important to me” “You are valuable” “I care about your friendship” “I appreciate you very much” “I thank God for allowing me know you”… You get up, you shake off the dust, you see them with anger, the fire of hell itself comes out of your eyes. You don’t say anything, you just come out prepared for the attack… You knock down another, you take his sword and his armor, you integrate that into yourself, a sign that you have already overcome him. You are determined to go for the others, they walk away from you terrified, you tell them “I will finish you off, one by one if necessary”… You see the light… You leave, but hell no longer looks so scary…
Leave a Reply