I don’t remember when was the last time I was able to sleep more than five hours; now, every night is eternal, every night is a blown up, it’s a torment not knowing what tonight will be like. There are occasions, in which, anxiety takes over me, nights in which it makes me its prisoner, it laughs at me when it sees me suffer from the anguish that eats and corrupts me.
Entire nights in I only pray to God to be able to sleep, even if it’s two hours. It doesn’t always get better the next morning. When I open my eyes and contemplate that I have a new day in front of me, a lot of hours to conquer, and dreams to colonize, the most beautiful gift that God can give to each of his children remains before my eyes, a new sunrise.
At certain times, not everything is so jovial or colorful; I do not perceive any color in fact. It only manifests itself before me, what terrified me the night before and made me hostage to it. This has turned into an endless nightmare, where no matter how much I run, or where I run, because what has stolen my peace lives inside me.
We all have a little devil and an angel. They make an appearance in almost every step or action we wish to undertake, almost in every word our heart desires to express. They demonstrate, both fight, there is no mercy, it is a war. There are days in which the “little angel” is victorious and days in which it is the “little devil” who ends up as the winner. Now the decisions of his tenant have been at his mercy, he is now the one who decides his actions.
Not everything is “bad”, otherwise there could be no “good”. Also, the “little angel” carries his victories in his history. It is he who makes his guest calm or tranquil, it is he who genuinely watches over and will always watch over the tranquility, and even the joy of his noble tenant…
Throughout these confrontations, the subject is generally exhausted, or with some luck a little tired, and perhaps it is only a matter of a nap, in order to recover strength and energy…
Dear reader, I do not know what are the internal struggles that torment you, what are those doubts that have taken away your peace and the beautiful smile on her face, as well as the sublime and almost heavenly sound that her laughter produces, but let me tell you I say through this letter that you are not alone, you are not alone…
I don’t know when was the last time they told you this, but you are beautiful, just the way you are, with your imperfections, with your scars that show the bravery and courage of your heart, because despite having been hurt, mistreated and less precious, he has not closed himself to radiate and spread love, compression, much less, warmth to those who today find themselves helpless in the midst of desolation.
You have not prohibited yourself, the opportunity to feel, to be human, because there would be nothing more tragic or unfortunate in life, like losing sensitivity, the ability to love… There is nothing more beautiful, nor more human, as is love.
But how could you not give unconditional love if that is exactly what your heart and soul so long for? The most beautiful thing in people is their heart, and the nobility of their spirit, the sublime delicacy that their feelings emanate in each action, in each written word, like each spoken word.
“Calm down, go, rest son, I’m going to take care of you myself, I just need you to trust me, in the same way, that I trust you. Remember that, I am not an alien, nor a stranger to pain. Just see my cross, and believe me, my son, that I would do it again for you, a million more times, I just need you to have faith in me, trust in my work, that I know how to guide your steps, because what you visualize as impossible, together we will make it possible. Come son, lie down in my arms, here I will cover you with my sacred mantle, tonight I will be the one to keep you warm, the one to calm your anxiety, the one to calm soul and spirit that are already very agitated…
Tomorrow I will give you more hours so that we can walk together, so that, holding hands, we explore each horizon, each path, and we conquer each hill where your fears, your fears, your doubts, and everything that has deprived you are lodged. to see how beautiful life is, how beautiful it prostrates itself before your eyes, the melodious voices that embrace your heart.
But my son, it will be necessary for us to make every effort to be the winners, and I know that you are strong enough to achieve it because I myself have created you, I myself put my heart in you to be able to face any adversity, to defeat any opponent, no matter how big and strong he seems to be, because it is me who is in your corner, giving you strength when you think you have given everything.
Of course, I have listened to each one of your pleas in which you implore that all this ends, but my son, my plans for you are bigger than what your human nature allows you to understand since what is a decade for you, for Me, it’s just a blink of an eye. My son, I have put all these circumstances in your path, to be able to make you the best human being you can be, so that in your heart only love, humility, friendship, solidarity, and everything that emanates from them.
Very surely you do not understand my actions, do not mortify yourself for what will come in the future, because I guarantee that everything will be better than you imagine, although perhaps, at the time you will not see it that way; But my son, I am the creator of each of the things that surround you, as well as time and space, that is why I know very well that when you reach a certain point in your life, and look at your past, to the path that you have already traveled, and you put it in contrast with the human being that you have become, you will find meaning in each of the stones that were on your walk, and it is there that, you will give value to each day, every minute, every second, and thus by chance, you will understand by chance, the reason why today is called “present”…
Never my son, let someone doubt your worth because you are part of the beauty of my creation. At birth, you are a blank canvas, which with each experience is painted in different colors and different shades, which, in due course, will give shape and life to moral figures that will be the leaders of your life…
Go my son, go to sleep, rest, your soul and your body need it…”
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