The World Of Ideas

Dear reader, before I start, or, rather, I would like to start with a little warning. If you come here in the hope of finding and rejoicing among a sea of aesthetically ordered ideas, I anticipate, or warn you, that this may not be the case. But, if you come here with the intention of establishing a dialogue, of sitting down to contemplate time and your own becoming while we watch the rain fall and find ourselves immersed in the sublime and delicious aroma of coffee, then, let me tell you, welcome, take a seat, have your cup of coffee or tea, and let’s get comfortable…

Let me introduce myself, I don’t think we have met, so I will take the dare to be the one who speaks first and tell you a little about why I write, and what motivates me to do it, even when I feel that I am a simple being with no ideas to offer and nothing to bring more than discomfort or boredom wherever I express myself or share something.

You see, one day almost two years ago, I lived perhaps one of the hardest times on an emotional level, that goes! Even in economic terms, but hey, it’s a tough time at last. Anxiety attacks here and there, fear of loneliness, and not being good enough. But the fear of becoming attached to someone was greater, and that in the blink of an eye, I would no longer be the one occupying that place, but someone else, as if it were an object being discarded.

Once, I remember well that it was raining; and an anxiety attack took me as its hostage at that moment. Catastrophic thoughts came, as if it were a downhill truck that has run out of brakes, and the little sanity or stability was a puny guy of no more than 50kg standing in the middle of the road waiting for impact because he lies there paralyzed with fear, because he knows that what is coming will not be pretty, much less fortifying, or maybe yes… But he doesn’t know it yet.

If in the middle of my little narration you get a little lost, I apologize in advance. On this rainy July night I don’t have a draft at hand, much less a guide or something similar, in fact, I think I’ve decided to write for the mere desire to talk to someone as if we were complete strangers meeting for the first time in a park in the middle of spring, Nothing better than spring to be born and autumn to die!

Returning to the above, sorry if you get lost or I confuse you in the middle of my rant, today I just want to write without thinking or stopping about aesthetics or fashion, or media or anything of that; I just want to write how I like, how I started and not how I tried to change to get more readers. I want to write again for myself and not for others; imagine as if my heart and my mind were taking couples therapy. One does not understand the other in some aspects, sometimes they argue and shout at each other unintentionally, and in the course, there are offenses and grievances that can leave some mark on the other…

Sometimes, on occasions like these, I like to let them talk, see and hear them through the glass, one transparent, one without dyes or finishes that could alter my vision… Today I want to write like I started, without caring about the criticism, without paying attention to the “What will they say about me?”. Dear reader, once this little note is finished, I will take the license to continue with what I have come to tell you in this little space called the Internet, but above all, in my most intimate home “The World of ideas.blog”.

Where did I stay? Oh yes, I remember that already. I was telling you about an anxiety attack that occurred on a rainy afternoon around that 2022, and how everything felt… Now yes, I continue. It felt like being hit by a truck on the way down, without my legs responding to me, not because I couldn’t even walk, much less crawl, but because I didn’t know where to go!!!! Do you believe that? And is that where does one go when one has nowhere to go? So more or less…

There are many things that I forget, many things that perhaps I overlook and that I shouldn’t, but, nevertheless, involuntarily I am very selective with what I surround myself with. I proceed to explain myself. Have you ever felt lonely? Being surrounded by people, watching them laugh, watching them interact with each other, but not feeling part of the joviality that permeates that place, much less, feeling belonging. When that happens, without looking for it, one begins to see and interpret things in a slightly different way than reality dictates. As if it were a defense mechanism against the fear of abandonment or criticism. So, after being run over, I turned to my only safe place, or what I fervently tried to believe was my safe place, my friend.

A friend with whom we had been sharing moments for more than three years, but what do you think? I was wrong. I went to her because I thought I wouldn’t be judged, I did go! Haha can you believe it?… My world was total chaos inside and out. Seeing how my father’s health deteriorated a little more every day, to contemplate with a lump in my throat how my dog fought tirelessly for her life, to search even under the stones for a few coins to eat even if it was only that day because you know “One day at a time”, but rather, what kept us afloat was “God squeezes, but he doesn’t hang”, and he squeezed us so much that, we 4 ended up being more united than before… Come closer, please, a little closer, can you hear me better there? That wasn’t all… I had fallen in love! But, my heart and my own safety were on the floor! What to do when you have a broken heart? To heal, to love oneself as never before, to respect oneself as no one has ever respected one… But how to recognize one’s own value, if one deposited one’s entire being in another person, and that same person did not like it? In bad weather good face!

You may be asking yourself, “Well, who does this guy think he is?” My pleasure, my name is Jorge Vedolla, nice to meet you, welcome to “The World of Ideas”!, I hope you like what you find here, and please excuse the mess, sometimes this is how my ideas look, I just wish that something here could help, captivate, motivate or inspire you, even a little…

Remember I asked you where does one go when one has nowhere else to go? Well, I don’t know, sorry if you were expecting something else or some outstanding idea, but I honestly don’t know. Some people paint, others sing, there are a few fellows who dance and others who draw, and there are many others who run or do some form of physical exercise, what did I do? I wrote. I wrote as if I were telling someone what is going through my mind and my heart. And it was in that adventure where, I think I began to discover what until that moment had remained hidden or in the shadows… How would I be able to recognize my own value? Writing, shaping my ideas, my ethical and moral ideals, and principles. Sharing without fear, still writing for myself, and no matter that my writings get lost in limbo and no one ever reads them… Because, at the end of the day, writing is like going for a naked walk down the busiest street…

Do ideas evolve? I don’t think they change or evolve per se. I think they double up on each other. There is a game that I really like, and it reminds me a lot of this idea. Have you ever played the game of “The Little Snake” on any cell phone? That game, where one controls a small snake or viper, and one tries to overcome the walls and obstacles that lie in our way. Well, this is how I think everything happens in relation to ideas, and consequently, with oneself. Ideas face obstacles, both internal and external, and they have to open up in order to overcome what prevents them from manifesting fully as if they were a flower sprouting; that’s why, always the best time to be born will be the very spring

And it was like that, dear reader, how this little space was born… And in this way, it was that all this has been built… With every dream, with every fear, every longing and desire embodied in small letters that seek to escape from my mind and to be able to penetrate the heart of someone who knows how to see the same value that I see in them…

We all have a story to tell, but if you don’t have any story to tell, I invite you to dare to live more, and perhaps, if necessary, with more gallantry and passion; as if they were telling you that in 5 minutes your time is up, but that, at minute 4 with 30 seconds, a messenger arrives to tell you that you still have a life to live and that you are already free to look for it, that you forget about those 5 minutes, because they already belong to your past life…

If you had only 5 minutes to live, what would you think about? “Who will you be, or who won’t you be?” “Was it a full life?”Have I learned to see?” And if at the last minute, when you open your eyes, you find out that a new life is now lying before you, how would you live it? Who would you be?

I think that, by the moment, I have already talked a lot, or rather, written a lot and it will be another time when I will tell you a little more about how I have coped with my anxiety attacks… If you suffer from them, let me tell you a secret, but I need you to come a little closer, come on, don’t be afraid, and come a little closer so that they can’t hear us, if those demons can be overcome… It’s time to give you dear reader the word…