I do not know how this letter will end, I also do not know how it will turn out, because I am just someone trying to find peace, relief, and tranquility through these words, which, based on the past, I am afraid that they will end up lost in the forgetfulness of many, and perhaps, with some luck, some word or sentence, will remain engraved in the heart and perhaps, the soul of a few…
There are times when I lose all my strength when I feel that the world is coming at me, moments when I think that I can’t do it anymore… That’s when a voice makes a noise, it uses my moments of weakness to attack me, make me feel miserable, make me feel that I’m not enough for anyone, and worst of all, when he comes out victorious, it produces in me a slight dislike for myself, for being who I am, for not being able to shut up what I feel, for always expressing my feelings, for giving without measuring… Sometimes, when he raises his hand in triumph, I hear him laughing in the distance, I see his Machiavellian laughter, and he encourages me to be like him….
To be ruthless, to be miserable and without scruples, because he is only built of fears, and perhaps phobias as well. There is no blood running through his veins, maybe if there is blood, but those of his victims. It is a parasite that feeds only on memories, which in one way or another affected its victim.
Maybe, and just maybe, he’s not so bad, he just longs to feel important, to feel loved, maybe the trauma was so much that, now his defense mechanism is to act in the way he already does. But with it comes a great cost. Suffering.
What is it to be brave? Brave is not that individual who lacks fears or phobias; however, it would be very reductionist to remain stuck only in those who, try to face their demons, What bravery of theirs!
Many battles are unknown to us, and we will probably never be endowed with the divine and heavenly ability to say “I understand you 100%”. However, if you allow me, dear reader, I boldly say that it would be a lie to affirm such a thing since every human being will interpret something in accordance with previous experiences, both intrapersonal, as well as interpersonal as well.
Brave and worthy of admiration are those who, despite everything, despite feeling in the middle of the desolate ocean, decide to open their heart, and give what is still left of them, even if they are broken inside, but those people capable of providing love in all its extension and each of its dimensions, are the bravest, and perhaps, if you allow me, they are the ones who border on the narrowest boundaries between sanity and madness.
The greatest show of courage is manifested in the very expression of our emotions, and feelings. It is by expressing them that we feel as if we were walking naked along the streets. Maybe some will pay attention in different ways. There will be subjects who will only manage to laugh at what they see, others will only stay watching as they walk, and there will be a few who will not even look back, because they will have more important things to do. I have faith that there will also be people who will be able to see the courage of that individual who wanders the streets, almost unprotected, and will observe each of the scars that have left a mark that transcends beyond the skin of its wearer.
Blessed and glory to that bearer, who, with such gallantry, passion, and dedication, still has the courage to prove himself as such! Perhaps this individual is stupid and poor naive? Not at all! He has now become a gladiator, he has become a real lover. He who has given even more than he had, has the divine joy of having understood what Christian Love truly is.
How could someone be naive or stupid who puts his ideals, his loved ones before himself? I look at the sky and all that comes out of my chest is “But what an outrage! I do not conceive of a life where one lives only for oneself, and that is, we simply see the world that we have created following that idea. War, people dying of hunger because of the selfishness and misery of a few potentates. And they still call him “stupid” or “naive”?
The internal battle of that individual, who is our protagonist today, is a reflection of the society where he is immersed, and I am not saying that he “lives”, because indisputably, it is not life to be in a world like the one we have created. He observes it, pays attention to every word, every movement, no matter how minuscule or subtle it may be, questions the actions around him, and refuses to accept what is said on the street “This is life, we can’t change it”, our protagonist refuses to bend to this idea that has subdued many, that has crushed and claimed the lives of many people. He firmly believes that yes you can change, that yes you can live differently. In a way in which, already the masks, are just another memory that marked an era, where you no longer have to be “brave” to open up with someone, with the world itself, or much, for yourself. Well, now, we will have regained the awareness that we are human beings, to the full extent and in all its dimensions.
Perhaps we are too young and immature to contemplate and appreciate every rhyme, every verse and stanza that make up this thing we call “life”, and very surely we are. Our passage through here lasts nothing compared to the same magnitudes of space and time that write this immense book of physics, religion, philosophy, and other sciences and artistic expressions that understand the human being because each of us is a letter of this book…
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